Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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