There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
