i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
handjob tips. give me some.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
