My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
