Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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