What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
