Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
