So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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