I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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