my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
