Im at strip club and am horny
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
