Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
