Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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