I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
