Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
