butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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