I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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