I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
