Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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