Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
