I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
