And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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