At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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