I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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