I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
