i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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