I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
