I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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