plz talk dirty to me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
