Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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