i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
