thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
