Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
