hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
