I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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