I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
