so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
