why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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