Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
