Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
