too bad you live with your parents still
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
