Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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