he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
