and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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