his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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