I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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