her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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