Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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