I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
