so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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