There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I would ride that face into the sunset
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
