Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
