I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
