before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
