And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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